乔丹
-我所看见的就是他们… -妈妈… -All I can see is they're flicking... -Mom, Mom.
-嘿 宝贝 -我们能去走廊上谈谈吗？ -Hey, honey. -Can we talk in the hall?
好呀 Yeah.
等我一下 Just one sec.
等等 怎么了？怎么回事？你没事吧？ Wait, what? What is it? Is everything okay?
妈妈 我恋爱了 I'm in love, Mom.
不会吧 是谁？ Shut up. Who?
-贝拉 -谁？ -Bella. -Who?
领舞的女孩 The girl leading the dances.
我知道她年龄大 可是我觉得她也爱上我了 I know she's old, but I think she's in love with me too.
好吧 Okay.
-宝贝 你确定吗？-确定 -Are we sure, babe? -Yes.
好吧 Okay.
非常确定？ Sure, sure?
-是的 -好吧 -Yes. -Okay.
-我马上回来 -你要去哪？ -I'll be right back. -Where are you going?
-我到车上找你 -你要去哪？ -I'll meet you in the car. -Where you going?
你去车上吧 拜托了 Just go to the car, please.
-安德鲁 超级巨星 -嗨 -Andrew! Superstar! -Hi.
我们俩今晚跳得大汗淋漓 是吧？ You and I worked up a sweat tonight, huh?
是啊 大概吧 Yeah, I guess we did.
你觉得我还能再见到你吗？ Do you think I will ever see you again?
也许约会一次？ Maybe for a date?
我知道我年龄还小 不过也许我们可以 是这样… I know I'm young, but maybe we can, like, look...
我是说… I mean...
也许我们可以… Maybe we can just, like...
我很抱歉 我很紧张 I'm sorry, I'm really nervous.
我从来没有这么受宠若惊过 Well, this is the most flattered I've ever felt.
可是… But…
我年龄很大 I'm old.
-我需要用它 -我需要 -I actually need that. -I need it.
你搞什么鬼？ The hell you doing?
我的宝贝伤心欲绝 My baby's heartbroken.
十年后
伏特加
你打算做什么？ What are you gonna do?
吻你 Kiss you.
毕业以后 After college.
回答我的问题 Answer my question.
我回答了 我毕业后要吻你 I did. I'm going to kiss you after college
因为我已经决定跟你去巴塞罗那 because I've decided I'm going to Barcelona with you.
这不好笑 That's not funny.
你酩酊大醉了 You're super drunk.
不 我没醉 No, I'm not.
好吧 Okay.
告诉我你打算做什么 Just tell me what you're gonna do.
我已经告诉你我打算做什么了 I've told you what I'm gonna do.
我打算回家 I'm gonna go home,
我打算去一家特别好的非营利组织工作 and I'm gonna find a really great nonprofit to work at.
你想在玉米热狗上加辣肉酱吗？ So, you just want, like, chili on the corn dog?
肉棒快餐
你想拿它蘸着吃 还是想放在玉米热狗上吃？ Do you want it, like, as a dipping sauce, or do you really want it on the corn dog?
嘿 玛雅 我是安德鲁 Hey, Maya. This is Andrew.
你好 玛雅 我是安德鲁 Hello, Maya. This is Andrew.
我现在在肉棒快餐 闷得要死 I'm at Meat Sticks right now, bored out of my mind,
我在想你 我希望你在巴塞罗那过得愉快 and I'm thinking of you, and I hope you're having a nice time in Barcelona.
你问你哥哥今晚的事了吗？ Did you ask your brother about tonight?
没有 我忘了 No, I forgot.
问我什么？ Ask me what?
带我去参加一个成人礼派对 To take me to a bat mitzvah party.
派对在哪啊 小坏蛋？ Well, where is it, little punk?
在恩格尔伍德的活动场地办的 Space Events in Englewood.
谢谢 小坏蛋 Thank you, little punk.
是凯西的女儿 菲比 梅西的妹妹 It's Cath's daughter, Pheeb. Macy's sister.
凯西现在正讨厌我 所以我不会去 Cath hates me right now, so I'm not gonna go.
不过我送了礼金 But I sent money.
梅西回来了吗？ Is Macy in town?
是 我在仪式上看见她了 Yeah. I saw her at the service.
我告诉她你在这里 你应该去 I told her you were here. You should go.
她会很高兴 She'd be thrilled.
这会让你没面子吗？ Would that cramp your style?
-不会 -不会 -No. -No.
你暗恋菲比吗？ Do you have a crush on Phoebe?
没有 No.
如果她长得有一点点像梅西 你就是在说谎 If she looks anything like Macy, you're a fucking liar.
-注意语言 小伙子 -没事 格雷格 我已经12岁了 -Language, buddy. -It's fine, Greg. I'm 12.
他没暗恋谁 他有女朋友 He doesn't have crushes. He has a girlfriend.
不可能 Shut the hell up.
你有女朋友？ You have a girlfriend?
女朋友和青春期？青春期和女朋友？ Girlfriend and puberty? Puberty and a girlfriend?
-是的 -玛格丽特 -Yes. -Margaret.
玛… Mar...
-滚蛋 那… -不 不可以 安德鲁 -Fuck off. That is like... -No, uh-uh. No, Andrew.
我们不是在杜兰大学的宿舍 好吗？ We're not in a Tulane dormitory right now, okay?
是 你说得对 抱歉 我们在一个60岁单身汉的家里 Yes, you're right. Sorry. We're in a 60-year-old's bachelor pad.
不可以说脏话 No cursing.
我只是开个玩笑 I'm just kidding.
玩笑而已 Kidding.
我妈妈把它重新装修得很漂亮 My mom did a great job redecorating.
没错 Yeah. She sure did.
凯西为什么讨厌你？ Why does Cath hate you?
上星期我发了脾气 I had a moment last week.
你妈妈当时… Your mother had a…
躁狂症发作了 Manic episode.
格雷格 我觉得你在世上的目的 就是让人不舒服 Greg, I feel like your purpose on Earth is to make things weird.
你这样觉得？ Do you?
是的 Yeah.
好的 让我瞧瞧你 All right. Let me take a look at you.
看起来很帅 Looking sharp.
等等 转过身 让我看看 Wait. Turn around. Let me see something.
打屁股 Spank.
我真不敢相信你擅闯我妹妹的成人礼 I can't believe you're crashing my little sister's bat mitzvah.
我知道 我连仪式都没参加 I know. I didn't even go to the service.
我来是因为我妈妈不来了 I'm here 'cause my mom's skipping,
大卫时刻得有家人陪着 and David needs a family member with him at all times.
-不是这样的 -我在开玩笑 -That's not true. -I'm just kidding.
你妈妈没事吧？ Is your mom okay?
是的 我并没听说发生了什么 Yes. Yeah. I didn't really hear what happened.
是 我也没听说 Yeah, neither did I.
我想她应该没事 I think she's okay.
凯西没事吧？是更重要的问题 "Is Cath okay?" is the more important question.
凯西很好 Cath is great.
她喜欢你妈妈 其实她喜欢所有的妈妈 She loves your mom. She loves every mom, really.
除了一个疯子 她以前在纽瓦克当代课老师 Except this one crazy one that used to sub at Newark.
显然 她在餐厅卫生间 跟夏尔布瓦先生发生了关系 And apparently, she fucked Mr. Charlebois in the cafeteria bathroom.
我们的校长夏尔布瓦先生？ Mr. Charlebois our principal?
我忘了你在这里 该死 我总是忘记我周围都是小孩 I forgot you were here. Fuck. I keep forgetting I'm around children.
菲比的无伤大雅游戏主题搞得很不错嘛 Pheeb starting off strong with the innocuous games theme.
其实本来应该是与菲比同游海底 You know, it was going to be "Under the Sea with Pheeb,"
可是她不得不在最后一刻改了 but she had to call a last-minute audible
因为她那可恶的朋友 吉吉罗斯曼痴迷《小美人鱼》 'cause her bitch friend, Gigi Rothman, is obsessed with Little Mermaid,
强迫她改了主题 and she forced her to change it.
-真是恶人 -恶人 -What a bitch. -Bitch.
-恶人 -是啊 -Bitch. -Yeah.
你现在有工作还是… Do you have a job now or…
我们不可以在成人礼派对上谈论工作 We're not allowed to talk about jobs at the bat mitzvah party, actually.
好吧 所以你要么没工作 要么工作很烂 Okay. So you either don't have a job or you have a bad job.
-我的工作很烂 对 -我就说吧？ -I have a bad job. Yeah. -Yeah, see?
是那个疯妈妈 It's the crazy mom.
那就是我刚才说的那个妈妈 That's the mom I was just talking about.
我看见的是一个高中生 和她漂亮的法国保姆 I am looking at a high schooler with her stunning French au pair.
那是母女俩 That's a mom and her kid.
那她也许十几岁就生孩子了 So she was, like, a tween mom maybe.
不是 那孩子和大卫还有菲比在同一年级 No, that kid's in David and Phoebe's grade.
我想好像是她有自闭症 所以她妈妈让她上学比较晚 I think she's autistic or something. So, her mom had her start school late.
那对她们俩来说都太糟糕了 That's just terrible for both of them.
凯西觉得她吸毒 Cath thinks she smokes crack.
自闭症女孩？ The autistic girl?
请给我一杯伏特加蔓越莓汁 Can I have a vodka cranberry, please?
不 其实 我想要伏特加苏打水 No, actually, can I get a vodka soda?
其实 不 还是伏特加蔓越莓汁 Actually, no. Vodka cranberry.
13岁 我们开始吧 Thirteen! Let's do this!
菲比 13岁
来吧 Let's go.
来吧 各位 这就对了 Come on, everybody. There we go.
来吧 菲比 这就对了 你会很棒 Come on, Phoebe. That's it. You'll be great.
开始了 Getting it started.
不 Oh, no.
妈妈来了 快躲起来 Uh-oh. Here comes Mom. Take cover.
加油 妈妈 Go, Mom!
扭起来 好耶 Move that thang. Yeah.
小伙子们 这里是怎么回事？ Boys. What's going on over here?
你们不去…跳舞吗？ Are we not gonna... Are we not gonna dance at some point?
你呢 先生？你不是有个女朋友吗？你应该和她跳舞的 What about you, sir? Don't you have a girlfriend you should be dancing with?
我不怎么跟她说话 I don't really talk to her.
你真行 Great.
罗德 你呢？你看起来很活跃 What about you, Rod? You seem like a real shot of life.
怎么不在舞池里？不会跳舞吗？ Why are you not on the floor? Do you not dance?
我会跳 只是这音乐太逊了 I can dance. This music just sucks.
我同意 我非常同意 I agree with you. I really agree with you.
有没有什么歌是能让你跳起舞来的？ Is there a song that would get you dancing?
男孩乐队的《傻酷》 "Fooly Cooly" by BoyBand.
如果我能让瑞奇DJ播放那首歌 If I get DJ Rich to play that song,
你能向我保证你会尽情跳舞吗？ do you promise that you will dance your freaking butt off?
好呀 那就太好了 Yes. That'd be so freaking hype.
真棒 你想让我在井字游戏中赢你吗？ Nice work. You want me to beat you in tic-tac-toe?
还是你想去跟别人聊聊？ Or do you wanna mingle a little bit?
你想回家吗？ You wanna head home?
你赢不了我 You're not going to beat me.
我想我会赢你 I think I'm gonna beat you.
我想我会大赢特赢 I think I'm gonna kick your cute ass.
太好了 来吧 放那首歌 宝贝 Shit! Come on. Play the song, baby!
你想要X还是O？ Do you wanna be X's or O's?
-O -X -O's. -X's.
嗨 亲爱的 Hi, honey.
-我好久没见到你了 -我知道 -I haven't seen you in such a long time. -I know.
我真希望你妈妈能来 I wish your mom was here.
-我会告诉她你说的话 -请一定告诉她 -I will tell her you said that. -Please do.
你找到工作了吗？ Did you get a job yet?
你女儿问了我同样的问题 我没有好的回答 Your daughter asked me the same question, and I don't have a great answer.
可是今晚你没有派对发起人 所以那就是我的工作了 But you don't have a party starter here tonight, so that is my job.
而且是免费的 And it'll be free of charge.
我们以为瑞奇DJ就够了 所以… We thought DJ Rich would be enough, so…
你大错特错了 因为他很不称职 You were super wrong, 'cause he's really bad at his job.
可是没关系 因为 第四桌 我要问你们一个问题 But it's okay because, table four, I have a question.
你们喜欢《时髦镇》那首歌吗？ Do we like the song called "Funky Town"?
我们不应该去跳舞 对吗？ We shouldn't go dance, should we?
-我们绝对不应该 是的 -你确定？ -We definitely should not do that. Yeah. -Are you sure?
你可以把耳机戴上 我们可以到角落去跳 You can put your headphones on, and we can just go in the corner.
没人戴着耳机跟他们的妈妈跳舞 Nobody's dancing with their mother with headphones on.
嘿 你们俩跳舞吗？ Hey. Do you two dance?
有时候 Sometimes.
可是我们现在不想跳 But we're not feeling it right now.
也许等会儿吧 So maybe in a bit.
太棒了 好的 不着急 Amazing. Well, yeah, no rush at all.
不过 今晚不一样 所以… But, tonight is the night, so…
今晚怎么不一样？ What night?
你问今晚怎么不一样？ Did you say "what night"?
不 我没问 是我妈问的 No, I did not. My mother did.
你妈妈叫什么？ What's your mother's name?
她叫多米诺 Her name is Domino.
多米诺 我叫安德鲁 Domino. I'm Andrew.
嗨 安德鲁 Hi, Andrew.
我能问你叫什么吗？ Can I ask your name?
萝拉 Lola.
你叫萝拉？ Your name is Lola?
那真的是我最喜欢的名字 That's literally my favorite name of all time.
我妈妈多米诺给我起的名字 My mother, Domino, named me.
那么 多米诺 回答你的问题… Well, Domino, to answer your question...
你的问题是什么？ What was your question?
你说今晚不一样 我说今晚怎么不一样？ You said, "Tonight's the night." And I said, "What night?"
今晚是你和萝拉尽情跳舞的一晚 Tonight is the night that you and Lola dance your booties off.
一点也不用着急 不急 There is no rush at all. No hurry.
只要知道如果你们不在舞池里 Just know that nobody on the dance floor is gonna have nearly as much fun
没有人能玩得那么开心 if you guys aren't there, so…
我不会跳太空步 I don't know how to moonwalk.
好耶 Yeah!
加油 菲比 Go, Pheeb!
嘿 Hey.
嗨 Hi.
你想要什么？ What are you gonna get?
我想要找一件东西 I am gonna try to find something
能给我一些勇气请萝拉跳慢舞 that will give me some courage to ask Lola to slow dance.
你真的很好心 不过她不会跳的 That is very sweet, but she won't dance.
没关系 It's okay.
萝拉有自闭症 Lola's autistic.
所以她才会在成人礼派对上玩魔方 That's why she's working on her cube at the bat mitzvah party.
不是因为派对 Not because the party's…
-派对的主题是游戏 是的 -主题是游戏 -Game-themed. Yes. -Game-themed.
很难吗？ Is that hard?
是的 魔方是挺难的 Yeah, the cu... It's really hard.
我一点都不会玩 不过她很擅长 I can't do it for the life of me, but she's really good at it.
-我的意思是… -我知道你的意思 -I meant the... -I know what you meant.
不难 我是说 有时候难 Nope. I mean, sometimes.
不过不是因为她 But not because of her.
对不起 I'm sorry.
有时候我觉得我有自闭症 Sometimes I think I'm autistic.
真的？ You do?
没有 Well… no.
-算我没说 -你说了 -That wasn't real. -It happened.
-真抱歉 -我会记着的 -I'm really sorry. -I'm gonna remember it.
我想我能让她走进舞池 I think I could get her on the dance floor.
我可以给你一千美元 I will give you $1,000.
你想跟我赌一千美元？ Like you'd bet me $1,000?
-不是赌 我给你 -不行 -No, I'd just give it to you. -No.
那样不好玩 这样吧 我跟你赌… Okay, well, that's no fun. How about I bet you...
我跟你赌300美元 我可以让她走进舞池 I'll bet you $300 I can get her on the dance floor.
这小伙子太棒了 This kid rocks.
他很可爱 He's adorable.
他甚至让我不恨那个荡妇了 He's even making me not hate Hoochie Slut.
凯西 你这么说太不合适了 Cathy, that is not even close to appropriate.
她跟我丈夫上床了 She fucked my husband.
-她没跟托德上床 有必要吗？-我想说什么就说什么 -She did not fuck Todd. Why would she? -I can say whatever I want.
如果你没来 就不会这么好玩了 It wouldn't have been as much fun if you weren't there.
这完全正确 I mean, that's entirely true.
可如果我不在 不要害羞 跳舞就是了 But when I'm not there, just don't be shy. Dance.
你的舞跳得很好 You're a really good dancer.
玛格丽特完全被你迷住了 Margaret was so smitten with you.
女孩们喜欢会跳舞的人 男孩们也一样 Girls love good dancers, and the boys do too.
你为什么觉得我是同性恋? Why do you think I'm gay?
我只是觉得你在大学三年级之前 I just think you shouldn't say for certain who you are
不应该确定地说你是谁 until, like, junior year of college.
大学三年级会发生什么？ What happens junior year?
-很多事情 -安德鲁 -Lots of things. -Andrew.
-嗨 -嘿 我以为你们走了 -Hi. -Hey. I thought you guys left.
我们不会不辞而别 We wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.
萝拉 你认识大卫吗？ Lola, do you know David?
-认识 -嗨 萝拉 -Yes. -Hi, Lola.
嗨 大卫 Hi, David.
去年我们在同一门科学课上 We had science class together last year.
天啊 你们真可爱 God, you guys are cute.
安德鲁 萝拉和我想说 谢谢你跟我们跳舞 Andrew, Lola and I wanted to say thank you for dancing with us.
大卫 我知道我大概会 在很多这样的派对上见到你 And, David, I know I'll probably see a lot of you at these parties.
不过 安德鲁 我需要你的Venmo账号 But, Andrew, I need your Venmo
-因为我可能再也见不到你了 -对 -because I might never see you again. -Right.
我觉得我们必须再见到安德鲁 Well, I think we have to see Andrew again.
女士们 发生什么事了？ Ladies, what is happening here?
我会在新泽西待一段时间 I'm staying in New Jersey for a while,
所以我肯定会带大卫去参加别的成人礼 so I will definitely bring David to another bar mitzvah.
我真高兴你这么说 Well, I am happy to hear that,
因为现在的情况是你被犹太妈妈们包围了 because what's happening right now is you're being swarmed by Jewish mothers
我们想雇你当激励舞者 who are recruiting you to be their motivational dancer.
你的意思是那种派对发起人？ You mean like the party starters?
她们说他确保每个人过了一个完美的晚上 They said he made sure everyone had a perfect night.
她们需要一个指定的派对总指挥 And they need a designated party orchestrator.
安德鲁 这太好玩了 Andrew, this is so fun.
-你这么想？-是的 -You think? -Yes!
我不确定 我想先听听格雷格怎么想 I don't know. I wanna hear what Greg thinks about it first.
别这么贫嘴 住嘴 Don't be mean. Stop.
这个机会很好 你可以创建一家公司 This is so good. You can start a company.
是啊 我讨厌在肉棒快餐工作 Yeah. I mean, I hate working at Meat Sticks,
我今晚过得很愉快 所以… and I really enjoyed my night. So…
你最好别彻底辞去肉棒快餐的工作 Well, you wouldn't quit Meat Sticks altogether.
你可以减少工作时间 You'd just cut down on your hours.
她们有没有说你能挣多少钱？ Did they mention how much you'd make?
我好奇派对发起人的薪酬是多少？ How much does a party starter get paid, I wonder.
我想她们说就比一个不快乐的 制药公司主管少一点 I think they said just under what an unhappy pharmaceutical exec makes.
你说这话是什么意思？ What the hell does that mean?
亲爱的 这不好笑 Honey, that's not funny.
你在想安德鲁吗？ Are you thinking about Andrew?
没有 No.
我在想明天给杰瑞喂椰菜花和黄瓜 I'm thinking about feeding Jerry cauliflower and cucumber tomorrow.
杰瑞 明天可是你的重要日子 Well, big day for you tomorrow, Jerry.
安德鲁对你说了什么才让你去跳舞的？ What did Andrew say to get you dancing?
安德鲁说他会给我买一个魔域13阶魔方 Andrew said he would buy me a MoYu 13-by-13 Magic Cube
用你给他的300美元 with the $300 you were going to give him.
你觉得他会是一个好临时保姆吗？ Do you think he would be a good sitter for you?
我不习惯临时保姆 Well, I do not do well with sitters,
不过我想安德鲁可能会有些不一样 but I think it might be a bit different with Andrew.
为什么？ Why?
我喜欢他 我想他会喜欢杰瑞 I like him. And I think he would like Jerry.
另外 我觉得他不会把我当小宝宝对待 Also, I do not think he would treat me like a baby.
你别理会他就是了 You have to just brush him off.
-我真的不能住在这里了 -你能不能别这样说话 拜托？ -I really can't live here. -Can you not talk like that, please?
格雷格是个混蛋 他就是 Greg's a dick. He is.
-你能不要用这样的语言吗？-所以我要走 -Can you not use that language? -That's why I'm out of here
一有钱马上搬走 as soon as I have some money.
住嘴 我刚才要说的是 格雷格是个混蛋 Stop. What I was gonna say is, Greg's a dick,
但我忍受他 因为他和妈妈对彼此有好处 but I put up with it because he and Mom are good for each other.
亲爱的 谢谢你 Thanks, honey.
怎么有好处了？ Literally how?
你快乐吗？他让你快乐吗？ Are you happy? Does he make you happy?
我在这里很快乐 好吗？ I'm happy here, okay?
因为格雷格 我不用为很多事操心 I don't have to worry about so many things because of Greg.
我现在并不期待你能理解 And I don't expect you to understand that yet.
好吧 我不想谈格雷格了 Okay, I'm done talking about Greg.
你的公司叫什么名字？ What's your business going to be called?
嘿 Hey.
告诉我 Tell me.
你会很喜欢的 是大卫想出来的 You're really gonna love it. David came up with it.
是什么？ What?
吉格舞指挥 Jig Conductor.
吉格舞指挥的弟弟 If anybody knows how to start a party, it's my brother, Andrew.
如果有人知道如何发起一场派对 那一定是我哥哥 安德鲁 If anybody knows how to start a party, it's my brother, Andrew.
或者应该叫他吉格舞指挥？ Or should I say, the Jig Conductor?
吉格舞指挥
停了 It stopped.
这一定是坏了 因为它停了 It broke 'cause it stopped.
只有这些 That's all there is.
这…你得完成它 When... You have to finish it.
不 妈妈 如果有人看到这个 我就会上监控名单 Fuck no, Mom. If anybody sees that I'm gonna get put on a watch list.
很可爱 大卫很可爱 It's cute. David is so cute.
你在说什么呀？你看到的是我所看到的吗？ What are you talking about? Did you just watch what I watched?
他太不上镜了 僵硬得像块木板 The camera hates him. He's stiff as a board.
他有点僵硬有什么大不了的？ So what he's a little stiff?
挺好的 很可爱 非常好 It's fine. It's so cute. It's so good.
妈妈 我不需要拍视频 这件事不是…不是那样的 Mom, I don't need to do a video. This thing isn't... It's not like that.
什么样？是一份工作？ Like what? Like a job?
是的 别人会给我付钱 可我不必把它当成一份工作 Yeah, I get paid, but I don't have to think of it as a job.
好吧 如果你想要一份工作 你就得把它当成一份工作 Okay. Well, you do have to think of it as a job if you want a job.
我不想把它当成一份工作 I don't want to think of it as a job.
我只想赚够钱去巴塞罗那 I just want to get enough money to go to Barcelona.
因为玛雅在那里做福布赖特学者？ Because that's where Maya is doing her Fulbright?
不是 有一点 是的 No. A little, yes.
也是因为那是我想去的地方 But also 'cause that's where I want to go.
好吧 宝贝 你只是… Okay, sweetie. You just...
你没告诉我那是你想做的 You didn't tell me that that's what you wanted to do.
因为我不想让你伤心 'Cause I didn't wanna make you sad.
只要你在做你想做的事 我就很开心了 As long as you're doing what you want to do, then I'm perfectly happy.
我只想确定你在做你想做的事 I just want to make sure that you're doing what you want to do.
你不能随波逐流 You can't just go with everything.
我不是跟着玛雅去巴塞罗那 I'm not just going with Maya to Barcelona.
我真的想去 那很重要 我… I really want to go. It'd be a huge deal. I...
巴塞罗那是我一直想去的地方 Barcelona is, like, the place that I've always wanted to go.
好吧 我觉得奇怪的是你从来没提过… Okay. Well, I think it's really weird that you never mentioned it...
-我…停下 妈妈 停下 -你从没告诉过我任何关于巴塞… -I... Stop. Mom, stop! -You never told me anything about Barcel...
-停下 我不想… -我想帮你 我只是想要帮助你 -Just stop. I don't want... -I want to help. I'm just trying to help.
-我不想要你的帮助 停下 -好吧 -I don't want your help. Stop! -Okay.
雅各布
天啊 等一下 就两秒钟 各位 Oh, my gosh. Hold on. Two seconds, everybody.
谁把这个撞倒了？ Who knocked this over?
好了 我们需要插上电 Here we go. We need to plug in.
你也要跳舞 You dance as well.
去跳舞 你得去跳舞 Go dance. You got to go dance.
这首歌之后我们就来祝谢和祝酒吧 Let's do the Motzi and toasts after this song.
-天啊 你吓了我一跳 -那个瓶子是什么？ -God, you scared me so bad. -What's that bottle?
我的水瓶？ My water bottle?
上面写着伏特加的瓶子？ The one with "vodka" written on it?
不…这是个玩笑 Uh-huh. No… it's a joke.
有次我跟我的朋友们开玩笑时写上去的 I was just, like, joking with my friends one time, and I put it on there.
这样别人就不会喝了 And it's, like, so people won't drink it.
好吧 但今晚我不想让你喝酒 Okay, but I don't want you drinking tonight.
我不会的 很抱歉 I won't. S... I'm sorry.
各位 你们的舞跳得太好了 Everybody, you did an amazing job dancing.
现在到说祝谢和开德祷告词 以及祝酒词的时间了 And now it is time for the Motzi and the Kiddush and the toasts.
现在我把麦克风给你 Now I will pass it off to you.
阿门 Amen
祝福你 Mazel tov.
好呀 杰基 加油… Okay. Go, Jakey!
好的各位 下首歌是斯坦伯格拉比点的 All right, everybody. Next song is a request from Rabbi Steinberg.
名叫《湿湿小可爱》 It's called "WAP."
斯坦伯格拉比 我只是开个玩笑 那是个玩笑 I'm just kidding, Rabbi Steinberg. That was a joke.
锅里的通心粉 那是些湿湿小可爱 Macaroni in a pot That's some wet-ass pussy
这首歌 他不能放这首歌 That song. He can't play that.
嘿 朋友 那个女孩为什么离开了？ Hey, buddy. Why'd that girl just leave?
大概她年龄太大了 Probably 'cause she's too old.
是不是因为她比你高 你就没有安全感了？ You feeling a little bit insecure about her being taller than you?
她比我高是因为她有自闭症 She's only taller than me 'cause she's autistic
上学晚了大概三年 and got held back, like, three years.
她比我们大三岁 She's, like, three years older than us.
你是不是对她很刻薄？ Were you being mean to her?
你想让她误以为她打不过你？ You trying to trick her into thinking she can't beat you up?
她打不过我 She can't beat me up.
你知道谁肯定能打过你吗？ You know who can beat you up for sure?
怎么回事？ What's going on here?
没什么 这个小孩有些欺负人 Nothing. This kid's just kind of being a bully.
对不起 我儿子怎么了？ Sorry, my son is being what?
你儿子是个混蛋 Your son's being a prick.
我闻到酒味了吗 小子？ Do I smell alcohol, kid?
什么？ What?
滚开 成年人 Fuck off, adult.
哇 你真行 Wow. Nice.
你是丽莎的小孩？ You're Lisa's kid?
你们再敢叫我小孩一次 You guys call me kid one more time.
-你说什么？-怎么回事？ -What did you say? -What's going on here?
你的DJ对我家人极不礼貌 Your DJ is being extremely inappropriate with my family.
什么？ What?
安德鲁 给我解释一下这是怎么回事 Andrew, explain to me what's going on.
我只是想确保没人在派对上被欺负 I just wanted to make sure no one was being bullied at the party.
我认为你应该回家去 我感到很不适 I think you should go home. I'm very disturbed.
我认为你应该带上你的孩子回家去 I think you should go home and take your kid with you.
-安德鲁 不要这样对她讲话 -你告诉她不要… -Do not speak to her like that, Andrew. -You tell her not to...
-好吧 你该离开了 我们走 -你让斯坦伯格拉比很难堪 -Okay, you're gonna leave. Let's go. -You embarrassed Rabbi Steinberg.
你让大家跳《湿湿小可爱》那首歌 And you told people to dance their wet-ass pussies off.
嘿 你妈妈去哪了？她的包在里面 就要被偷了 Hey, where's your mom? Her bag was in there ready to get stolen.
我不知道我妈在哪 I do not know where my mother is.
我能坐在你旁边吗？ Can I sit down with you?
可以 Yes.
找到了你的魔方 Found your cube.
谢谢 Thanks.
你想告诉我那个刻薄的 混蛋小孩对你说了什么吗？ Do you want to tell me what that mean little bitch kid said to you?
说我不应该在他的年级 That I do not belong in his grade.
你还好吗？那让你生气了吗？ Are you okay? Did that make you mad?
我只想走开 I just wanted to walk away.
你真是个好人 Well, that's really awesome of you
因为我差点揍他一顿 然后被扔进监狱 because I almost kicked his ass and got thrown in jail.
好吧 你先玩着魔方 Okay, while you work on that,
我去找你妈妈 因为我想她可能很担心 I'm gonna go try to find your mother because I think she's probably worried.
好吧 Okay.
嗨 女卫生间 我在找人 Hi, women's bathroom. I'm looking for someone.
里面有人吗？ Is anybody in here?
这里有人的名字是多开头的吗？ Does anybody's name in here start with a D?
安德鲁 Andrew.
是我 多米诺？ Yeah. Domino?
萝拉没事吧？你看见她了吗？ Is Lola okay? Have you seen her?
是的 她在玩魔方 你没事吧？ Yes. Yeah, She's cubing it up. Are you okay?
我可以说是被困在这里了 I'm kind of stuck in here.
你什么意思？你需要卫生纸吗？ What do you mean? Do you need toilet paper?
我只是…我的裙子上有血 I just... I got some blood on my dress.
不是…我没事 不是伤口 It's not... I'm fine. It's not a cut.
懂了 好吧 Word, okay.
可是我需要…你能给我拿些纸巾吗？ But I need... Can you get me some paper towels?
可以 Yes. Yeah.
给我十张 Like, ten.
好的 Yep.
你能把一些打湿吗？ And can you wet some?
你能把一些打湿吗？ Will you wet some of them?
可以 Yes.
好的 Okay.
你能拿到吗？ Can you reach that?
该死 Fuck.
-怎么了？-我拿不到 -What? -I can't reach that.
我把血弄到裙…更多血弄到裙子上了 I just got blood on my dre... More blood on my dress.
-我可以再往下一些 -对 扔进来就行 -I can go a little further. -Yeah, toss them. Just throw them.
我可以 但我觉得会掉在地上 那就会 I can but I feel like it's gonna fall on the floor, and it's gonna be, like,
不卫生… not sanitary for your...
那从下面递 从… Go under, then. Go...
关上门 Close the door.
你没事吧？ Are you okay?
没事 Yeah.
你想让我问问谁有卫生棉之类的吗？ Do you want me to see if someone has a tampon or something?
不用 我没事 No, I'm good.
安德鲁 我需要你帮我走到我的车那里 Andrew, I need you to help me get to my car
因为我不想那些家长以为 我在卫生间上演了一出《复仇人物》 because I don't want the parents to think I Kill Billed somebody in the bathroom.
是 看起来像是的 你… Yeah, it does look like that. Do you...
是月经吗？你想要我的… That's a period? Do you want my...
你想穿上我的外套吗？我有外套 Do you wanna wear my coat? I have a coat.
我觉得你的外套盖不住我的屁股 I don't think your coat is gonna cover my ass.
我觉得可以 我挺高的 I feel like it is. I'm pretty tall.
我不想让家长们看见我穿男人的外套 I don't want the parents to see me wearing some guy's jacket.
好吧 我想我有个主意 Okay. I think I have an idea.
-嘿 -我完成了 你找到我妈妈了吗？ -Hey. -I finished. Did you find my mother?
你真棒 是的 我找到你妈妈了 Great job. Yes, I did find your mother.
她现在遇到了一个观感问题 And she's got a bit of a visual situation going on
因为她把东西洒在裙子上了 不过我有个计划 because she spilled something on her dress, but I have a plan.
她洒了什么？ What did she spill?
牛排 Steak.
她…可是我…我有个计划 She... But I... So, I have a plan.
我妈妈没吃牛排 My mother was not eating steak.
别人把牛排洒在她身上了 Someone else spilled steak onto her.
不过没关系 因为我有个计划 But it doesn't matter 'cause I have a plan,
你在那个计划中将扮演极为重要的角色 and you're going to play a super important role in that plan
因为我不能回到派对去了 because I can't go back into the party.
好吧 Okay.
对不起 大卫 Excuse me, David.
你哥哥安德鲁让我请你帮我执行一个计划 Your brother, Andrew, has asked me to ask you to help me with a plan.
好吧 Okay.
你好 先生 Hello, sir.
多米诺 我想开车送你和萝拉回家 如果可以的话 Domino, I'd really like to drive you and Lola home if that's okay.
我想我们也许应该顺路去一趟医院 And I think we should maybe stop at the hospital.
我不需要去医院 I don't need to go to the hospital.
我没事 I'm fine.
好吧 你看起来很好 那… Okay. Well, you look totally fine, so…
你需要个拥抱之类的吗？ Do you want a hug or something?
不 No.
大卫 萝拉
安德鲁 多米诺
好的 我爱你 Okay. I love you.
我也爱你 I love you too.
你想做什么？ What do you wanna do?
你想在安德鲁等车的时候 在楼下待一会儿吗？ You want to hang out down here while Andrew waits for a ride?
我想换上睡衣 I want to get in my pajamas.
好的 宝贝 你随意 Okay, cutie. Do your thing.
我等下上楼去说晚安 I'll be up in a bit to say good night.
抱歉我离你这么近 你看起来好像要摔倒 Sorry I'm close to you. You looked like you were gonna fall over.
我需要坐下来 I need to sit down.
我需要洗个澡 I need to take a shower.
我觉得我们应该就坐在这里 I feel like we should just sit here.
我想脱掉这件该死的T恤衫 I wanna get out of this fucking T-shirt.
我喜欢你的T恤衫 I like your shirt.
那你干嘛不娶它？ Then why don't you marry it?
多米诺 Domino.
你还好吗？ Are you all right?
好 Yes.
谢谢 Thank you.
家 三分钟
嘿 Hey.
抱歉我吓到你了 Sorry I scared you.
没关系 我妈妈呢？ It's okay. Where's my mother?
她…我想她也在刷牙 She's... I think she's brushing her teeth too, actually.
你想认识一下我的仓鼠吗？ Do you want to meet my hamster?
好啊 Yeah.
马铃薯世界
天啊 Oh, my gosh.
瞧 这是杰瑞 Here you go, Jerry.
天啊 我喜欢杰瑞 它很可爱 Man, I love Jerry. He is very cute.
我的天啊 Good Lord.
那么 马上要开学了 你兴奋吗？ So, school is starting soon. Are you excited?
我有一些兴奋 I'm excited for parts.
你很失望暑假过完了？ You bummed summer is over?
是有一点 A little bit, yes.
你收集马铃薯捣碎器吗？ Do you collect potato mashers?
是的 Yes, I do.
那太棒了 That's really awesome.
你睡前通常还做些什么？除了喂杰瑞 So, what do you usually do before bed besides feed Jer,
换上睡衣和刷牙以外？ and get in pj's and brush your teeth?
我妈妈有时候会给我挠挠背 不过我不想让你那么做 My mom sometimes will scratch my back, but I do not want you to do that.
除了我妈妈 我不让任何人碰我的背 I do not let anybody but my mother touch my back.
对 是啊 我完全理解 Yeah. No, that makes total sense.
你为什么在这里？ Why are you here?
哎呦 你是想伤我的心吗？ Ouch. You're trying to hurt my feelings?
-不是 -萝拉 这可有些冷酷 -No. -Well, Lola, that was kind of brutal.
我不是故意的 I did not mean to be brutal.
我只是开个玩笑 I'm just teasing.
你妈妈今晚过得很不顺 Your mom just had a tough night
我想确保你们都没事 and I wanted to make sure you guys were all good.
不过我现在要走了 But I am going to leave right now.
我们就在莱克西雷的成人礼派对上见了 如果你去的话 And I'm going to see you at Lexi Ray's bat mitzvah party, if you're going.
我想我会去的 I think I will be in attendance.
太好了 Excellent.
好吧 晚安 Okay. Well, good night.
-你也晚安 安德鲁 -你也晚安 杰瑞 -Good night to you too, Andrew. -And good night to you too, Jerry.
那是只非常可爱的仓鼠 That's a really cute freaking hamster.
你好 Hello.
嘿 Hey.
嗨 Hi.
萝拉刚刚把我介绍给杰瑞 Lola just introduced me to Jerry.
是的 她很为它自豪 Oh, yeah. She's really proud of him.
你在里面藏了东西吗？ Are you hiding something in there?
是的 Yes.
-我去说晚安 -好吧 -I'm gonna go and say good night. -Okay.
不过如果你想在楼下客厅等的话 我们可以聊聊 But if you wanna wait downstairs in the living room, we can talk.
好吧 Okay.
我很高兴你在这里 I'm glad you're here.
我以为你走了 I thought you left.
-你有丈夫吗？-我有未婚夫 -Do you have a husband? -I have a fiancé.
约瑟夫 Joseph.
他在芝加哥 He's in Chicago.
他不是萝拉的爸爸 对吗？ He's not Lola's dad, right?
不是 No.
这是他父母的房子 This is his parents' house.
他父母在这里？ His parents are here?
是他继承的 He inherited it.
我跟你在一起觉得很自在 不知道为什么 I feel very comfortable with you. I don't know why.
可我就是这么感觉的 But I do.
你怎么会感觉不自在呢？ Why wouldn't you feel comfortable?
萝拉说你问起她的马铃薯捣碎器 Lola said you asked about her potato mashers.
你女儿非常酷 Your kid is super dope.
我在想 我以前帮助周围的邻居 And I was thinking, I used to help out families in my neighborhood,
比如 父母如果想要晚上出去 我会陪着他们的孩子 like, if parents wanted a night out, I would stay with their kids.
或者 甚至帮他们看房子 Or, like, even watch their house.
我好奇你和萝拉是否有一个这样的人 And I was wondering if, like, you and Lola have a situation like that with someone.
-我需要杀了谁 -没有 -Who I need to kill. -No.
没有 我真希望有 No, I wish.
我通常送她去我父母家 可是… I'd usually just bring her to my parents' house, but…
他们住得很远 很麻烦 They live very far away, and it's a pain.
如果你不想那样的话 Well, if you don't want to do that ever,
给我打电话 因为我真的很喜欢 坐着跟别人聊天 call me because I really like to sit on my ass and hang out with people.
可是如果你不愿意 我也理解 因为我们彼此并不太相熟 But I understand if you don't want to, because we don't really know each other.
我们很熟 We know each other.
是啊 对吗？ Yeah. Right?
你这里有纸吗？ Do you have a piece of paper somewhere in here?
好了 我的号码就在这张纸条上 Okay. My number is on this slip of paper,
我要打电话叫辆车 好让你去休息 and I'm gonna call a ride so you can get some rest.
不过如果你想晚上出去的话 请你给我打电话或发短信 But I'd really like for you to call or text me if you ever want a night out
或者如果你需要帮助的话 or, like, want some help.
好的 Okay.
你想坐下来等车吗？ You wanna sit while you wait for your ride?
好 又坐在地板上吗？ Yes. On the floor again?
我们升级了 We've upgraded.
我很喜欢你的沙发 I really like your couch.
我讨厌它 I hate it.
我也是 我本来也想那么说 Me too. That's what I meant to say.
你今晚会没事吧？ Are you gonna be okay tonight?
没事 Yeah.
那不是月经 It wasn't a period.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我也是这么想 That's what I was thinking.
约瑟夫知道你怀孕了吗？ Did Joseph know that you were pregnant?
我们不要把这件事告诉任何人 Let's not tell anybody about this.
好吧 Okay.
如果你想和什么人聊聊 我的耳朵很大 Well, if you ever want anyone to talk to, I've got massive ears.
你叫的车呢？ Where's your ride?
天啊 Oh, my God.
大概很近 大约三分钟 Probably very close. It's about three minutes.
我不想… I don't feel like…
好吧 Okay.
我是说我想 可是我觉得你不想 I mean, I want to. But I feel like you don't want to.
没关系 It's okay.
谷歌 多米诺
多米诺披萨图片
你好 梅西 你今晚有什么安排？ Hello, Macy. What are you doing tonight?
-你确定现在这里没人？-是 -Are you sure nobody's here right now? -Yeah.
是 我的父母在参加桥牌赛 Yeah. My parents are at a bridge tournament.
-我妹妹去别人家过夜了 -好 -My sister's at a sleepover. -Okay.
所以 是的 我们可以大声 So, yeah, we can be loud.
好 用力些 好 Yeah. Go harder. Yeah.
-你为什么盯着我？-我没有 -Why are you staring at me? -I'm not.
-闭上眼睛 你为什么睁着眼睛？-我闭着眼睛呢 -Close your eyes. Why are your eyes open? -My eyes are closed.
你刚才睁着眼睛 They were open.
你可以把它扔到卫生间 You can toss that in the bathroom.
混蛋先生 你是谁？ Who are you, Mr. Fucker?
混蛋 你为什么跟我的情人在一起？ The hell are you doing with my lover, fucker?
我简直不敢相信大学结束了 I can't believe college is over.
我简直不敢相信我们刚做爱了 I can't believe we just had sex.
-为什么？-我不知道 我只是觉得老了 -Why? -I don't know. I just feel old.
好像我刚刚和你上过代数课 Like, I had algebra with you.
还有生物课 明德尔博士教的 And bio. With Dr. Mindle.
你曾暗恋过我吗？ Did you have a crush on me?
每个人都暗恋过你 Everybody had a crush on you.
是的 那你呢？ Yeah, but did you?
我被你吸引 I mean, I was attracted to you.
可是我觉得…你有过好多人 But I feel like... I think I felt like you had so many people.
好多追求者 A lot of suitors.
我没被你吸引 I wasn't attracted to you.
我其实没问你那个 So I actually didn't ask that.
但我感谢你的诚实 But I appreciate the honesty.
在我妹妹的成人礼上我被你吸引了 I was attracted to you at my sister's bat mitzvah.
现在你不了？ And now you're not?
-现在我在想代数 -和明德尔博士教的生物课 -Now I'm thinking about algebra. -And bio with Dr. Mindle.
你觉得我已经过了人生巅峰吗？ Do you think I peaked already?
没有 No.
当然没有 Of course not.
我只是很讨厌我的工作 I just really hate my job.
如果我能辞职当一名派对发起人就好了 If only I could quit my job and be a party starter.
还有肉棒快餐店员 And a Meat Sticks worker.
不过我刚刚申请了一份工作 But I actually just applied for this job.
是…纽瓦克主管官员区 It was a... It's a Newark chief officer zone
机会分析师实习生 opportunity analyst intern.
-酷 -我没申请到 我被拒绝了 -Cool. -I didn't get it. I got rejected.
我应该放弃派对发起人这个工作吗？ Do you think I should quit party starting?
一方面 这工作是挺可笑的 Well, on one hand, it is silly.
真的很可笑 It's really silly.
可是另一方面 每份工作都可笑 But on the other hand, so is every job.
出卖你的时间根本就不合逻辑 Like, selling your time is insane.
这真让人郁闷 That's really depressing.
我认为你跳舞很性感 I do think you're a sexy dancer.
不会吧 No.
少来 Come on.
-你还想做爱吗？-一点也不想 -Do you wanna have sex again? -Not at all.
没有 伙计 我们没有酒 我倒是希望有 No, man. We don't have alcohol. I wish we did.
不过没有 我们没有在购物中心卖酒的许可证 But no, we don't have our liquor license here in the mall.
嘿 玛格丽特怎么样了？ Hey. How's Margaret?
你们说话吗？ Are you guys talking yet?
并没有 我们只是发短信 还有在成人礼派对上跳舞 Not really. We just text and dance at bar mitzvahs.
是啊 Yeah, you do.
你们俩在舞池里很来电 Your chemistry with her on the dance floor is pretty insane.
你说的是真的吗？ Are you just saying that?
我这么说是因为我有眼睛 你们俩在一起啪啪放电 I'm saying that 'cause I have two eyes. You guys are electric together.
你第一次接吻是什么时候？ When did you have your first kiss?
你为什么问这个？ Why do you ask?
玛格丽特的朋友告诉我她想接吻 Margaret's friend told me that she wants to kiss.
这样啊 Uh-oh.
你对此是什么感觉？ And how do we feel about that?
把你酷酷的眼镜摘下来回答 Answer with your badass shades off.
我不知道怎样让这件事发生 I don't know how to make it happen.
好吧 第一课 All right. Lesson one.
百分之四十是直觉 Forty percent of it is instinct.
如果感觉是对的 那大概就对了 Like, if it feels right, it probably is right.
跟着感觉走 Go with your gut.
然后百分之十是你的脑子 诸如此类 And then 10% is your brain and all that stuff.
比如作战计划、策略 Like game plan, strategy.
然后百分之五十是玛格丽特 And then 50% is Margaret.
你对她一无所知 You don't know anything about her.
你不知道她想要什么 或者她喜欢什么 You don't know what she wants or what she likes,
所以你必须跟她聊天 so you have to talk to her.
非常努力地了解她 Try super hard to know.
还有其他课吗？ Are there any more lessons?
是的 有的 Yes, there are.
关于如何获得最好的初吻 有五…四节课 There are five... four lessons on how to have the best first smooch.
找工作
找工作 就业 Indeed.com
嘿 你在学校经常见到萝拉吗？ Hey, do you see a lot of Lola at school?
是啊 今年我们上同一门英语课 怎么了？ Yeah. I have English with her this year. Why?
我不知道 我觉得你们应该对她好点 霸凌者很烂 I don't know. I just think you guys should be really nice to her. Bullies suck.
我觉得帅男孩对她好的话 会很有帮助 And I feel like it'd do a lot if cute boys were really nice to her.
那个家伙对我们也很恶劣 他和他的两个朋友欺负所有人 That guy is a dick to us too. He and his two friends bully everybody.
谁？加文？ Who? Gavin?
-是的 -也许你们应该揍他一顿 -Yeah. -Well, maybe you guys should beat him up.
我有一天肯定会揍加文一顿 I'm definitely gonna beat Gavin's ass one day.
是培根和鸡蛋味的 That's bacon and eggs.
你在跟他约会 哈 You're dating him.
想让我慢慢接受？ Trying to ease me into it?
说实话 谢谢你 Honestly, thank you.
你是在为参加二头肌比赛训练吗？ You, like, training for a big bicep contest?
我不想做了 I don't want to do that anymore.
你可以做更多 You can do more.
不 我不能 我不能做更多了 我不是那个家伙 Oh, no, I can't. I can't do more. I'm not that guy.
你不是那个家伙 伙计 You're not that guy, pal.
该死 Fuck!
天啊 Oh, God.
我不擅长做俯卧撑 I'm not a push-up guy.
我也不擅长做仰卧起坐 I'm not a sit-up guy either.
你为什么想要这份工作？ Why do you want this job?
有朋友更有希望 Well, hope loves a friend.
有朋友更有希望 是我们非营利组织的名称 Hope Loves a Friend is the name of our nonprofit, yeah.
可是你为什么想要作为 沟通助理加入我们的团队呢？ But why do you wanna join the team as a communications associate?
对 抱歉 Yeah, sorry.
我在杜兰大学读的是市场营销 I studied marketing at Tulane.
我有很多社交媒体设计的经验 And I have a lot of experience with social media design.
并且非常熟悉客户关系管理工具 比如Buffer和MailChimp And a lot of experience with CRM tools like Buffer and MailChimp.
在那方面有很多经验 A lot of experience there.
还有… And…
我不知道 我只想帮助做出改变 I don't know. I just wanna help make a difference
帮助那些父母受ASL影响的孩子和年轻人 with kids and young adults whose parents are affected with ASL.
你是说ALS吧 You mean ALS.
相当肯定是ASL Pretty sure it's ASL.
不 我在开玩笑 显然你是对的 No, I'm kidding. Obviously, you're right.
我爸爸有ALS My dad has ALS.
不是真的 我不知道我为什么要这么说 That's not true. I don't know why I just said that.
-嘿 -嘿 -Hey. -Hey.
你的面试怎么样？ How'd the interview go?
我要回到肉棒快餐和 派对发起人的老工作了 I'm going to lean back into the Meat-Sticks, party-starting grind.
你能告诉我第二课吗？ Can you tell me the second lesson?
第二课是… The second lesson is…
全心全意地关注她 因为人人都希望这样 Give her all of your attention because that's all people want.
这很容易 That's pretty easy.
这好看吗？是的？这… Does that look good? Yes? That...
-国王 你是国王 -孩子这边呢？ -King. You're a king. -For the kids' side?
那就是 然后我再带领成人 That's for the kids' side, then I'll lead the adults.
也许我们再做一个 呼叫和应答的动作 这样… Maybe we do a call and response type of thing. So it's...
如果我这样… What if I was like…
该你了 或者类似的动作？ Your turn. Or something like that?
对 拍手 对 然后也许你可以邀请… Yes. Clap, clap. Yes! And then maybe you can invite, like...
比如 邀请你的一个朋友上来 跳个舞什么的 Like, invite one of your friends up to do a dance or something like that.
比如卡特 Like Carter.
我马上回来 你们继续练习 I'm gonna be right back. You guys keep practicing.
紧张会让你忘记 继续练习 Nerves make you forget. Keep practicing.
国王 大球手品牌 King. Big Baller Brand.
嗨 Hey.
嗨 Hi.
我很抱歉 我丢了有你电话号码的纸条 I'm sorry. I lost the slip of paper that had your number on it.
是真的 我在想给你妈妈丽莎打电话 I did. And I was thinking of calling Lisa, your mom.
我在看班级通讯录 然后我想 I was, like, looking at the class list. And then I was like,
我不会去问嘿 你能不能告诉你儿子 我把他的电话号码弄丢了？ "I'm not gonna be like, 'Hey, can you tell your son I lost his number?'"
-所以… -萝拉呢？ -So… -Where's Lola?
她马上就要和约瑟夫走进来了 She's actually about to walk in with Joseph.
他们在停车 我说我很想上厕所 They are parking, and I said I had to pee really bad.
可是你想警告我？ But you wanted to warn me?
不 我没想警告你 No, I didn't wanna warn you.
不过 是的 我是想警告你 But, yeah, I did. I wanted to warn you.
他不知道任何会让他生气的事 He doesn't know anything that would upset him.
是啊 主题是山姆在抖音上火了 Well, yeah, the theme is "Sam goes viral. TikTok."
-是的 嗨 两位 -嗨 安德鲁 -Yeah. Hi, guys. -Hi, Andrew.
嗨 萝拉 真高兴看到你 Hey, Lola. It is so nice to see you.
-这是我未婚夫 约… -约瑟夫 -This is my fiancé, Jo... -Joseph.
-幸会 -幸会 -Glad to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
多米诺说你那天晚上帮了忙 Domino said you helped out the other night.
-我非常感激 -不客气 -I really appreciate that. -Oh, yeah.
还有你是我们新的临时保姆 And you're our new sitter.
是的 我是 Yes, I am. Uh-huh.
你今晚在工作？听说你是个很棒的派对发起人 And you're working tonight? I hear you're a great party starter.
是 我听说你是个很棒的专业律师 Yeah, well, um, I hear you're a great professional lawyer.
-很忙的律师 很棒就难说了 -好吧 你经常出差？ -A busy one. I don't know about great. -Yeah. You out of town a lot?
是 在芝加哥有一个案子让我很忙 Yeah. Just a case in Chicago keeping me busy.
你的下一个案子在利文斯顿吗？ Is your next case in Livingston?
-我希望如此 -那样就太好了 -I wish. -That would be great.
他所有的案子都在芝加哥 All of his cases are in Chicago.
我想我们应该搬到那里去 我们在考虑 I think we should move there. We're thinking about it.
她想搬过去 我宁愿不搬 She wants to. I'd rather not.
那婚礼在哪里举行呢？ Well, where is the wedding?
在这里 很快 Here. Soon.
-我们要不要… -当然 同样 -Should we... -Yeah, totally. Likewise.
好耶 Yeah!
-嗨 -嗨 -Hi. Hey. -Hey.
我得到了临时保姆的工作？ I got the sitter job?
是的 Yes.
我很抱歉 我不得不… I'm so sorry. I just had to...
没什么 我很愿意 我没改变主意 Well, no. I'd love to, though. I haven't changed my mind.
那就好 我只是想也许… Okay. Well, I just thought that maybe…
什么？ What?
没什么 下周我有个生日聚会 Nothing. I have a birthday party next week,
我想去参加 可是约瑟夫会出差 that I would like to go to, but Joseph will be out of town.
-我会去的 绝对没问题 -那… -I'm there. I'm absolutely there. -So…
如果萝拉愿意 If Lola wants.
当然了 她愿意 她很喜欢你 Yeah. Of course, she does. She really likes you.
我很喜欢她 I really like her.
-我看不见 -就是不让你看见 -I cannot see. -That's the point.
你怎么会玩得这么快？ How are you so fast at this game?
大量的练习 A lot of practice.
好极了 Yes.
怎么回事？你在做什么？ What is happening? What are you doing?
不 我们没玩完 No, we are not done.
不行… No! No!
什么是farctate？没有这个词 Farctate？ What is "farctate"? What is "farctate"? That is not a word. "Farctate"?
有这个词 It is a word.
用它造个句 Well, use it in a sentence.
我把字母都放下了 现在游戏板就farctate了 It's a farctate board now that I've put those letters down.
等等 游戏板坏了？你往游戏板上放屁了？ What, a fucked-up board? Like farctate... Like you farted on it?
不 填满了 farctate的意思是填满或填充 No. It is filled. Farctate means to fill or stuff.
意思是满了 而不是空的 It means full, as opposed to hollow.
我根本不相信你 I don't believe you at all.
我要证明你在说实话 And I'm going to prove that you are telling the truth.
有这个词 That is a word.
我不明白这个游戏你为什么玩得这么好 I don't understand how you're so good at this game.
我没那么好 我只是比你好多了 I'm not that good. I am just a lot better than you.
哇 Wow.
你给杰瑞喂食和刷牙了吗？ Did you feed Jerry and brush your teeth?
-当然了 -好吧 -Yes, of course. -Duh.
我很抱歉妈妈不在这里给你挠背 Well, I'm sorry Mom isn't here to scratch your back.
有没有…我能给你读个故事之类的吗？ Is there... Can I, like, read you a story or something?
或者 我可以睡在地板上 等你睡着 Or, like, I can fall asleep on the floor while you fall asleep.
我以前需要我妈妈给我读个故事 I used to need my mom to read me a story.
然后她得睡在我旁边 我才能睡得着 Then after that, she had to, like, sleep next to me in order for me to fall asleep.
我不喜欢那样 我不是故意冷酷 I do not like that sort of thing. I do not mean to be brutal.
不…不是的 No. No, no. It's not.
我只想确定你可以睡着 I just wanna make sure you're okay to fall asleep.
我可以睡着 I'm okay to fall asleep.
好吧 Okay.
那么 晚安 Well, good night.
你也晚安 安德鲁 Good night to you too, Andrew.
你也晚安 杰瑞 And good night to you too, Jerry.
我的是蓝色吗？ Is mine blue?
是 非常蓝 Yeah, it's super blue.
怎么会这样？ How did that happen?
很正常 Just normal.
你想知道件事吗？ Do you want to know something?
想 Yes.
我现在过得比整晚都更开心 I'm having more fun now than I did the whole night.
生日派对不好玩吗？ Did you have a bad night?
不 没那么糟 No, it wasn't bad.
是的 很糟糕 Yeah, it was bad.
我是个坏人 I'm a bad person.
我不认为你是坏人 I don't think you're a bad person.
我们交换 Let's trade.
什么？ What?
好吧 Okay.
我有个问题 I have a question.
-你抑郁过吗？-哇 -Have you ever been depressed? -Wow.
扫兴警报 Downer alert.
你不必发出扫兴警报 You don't have to sound the downer alert.
我只是好奇 I'm just curious.
我一直都抑郁 I've always been depressed.
扫兴警报 Downer alert.
在萝拉出生之前吗？ Before Lola was born?
尤其是在萝拉出生之前 Especially before Lola was born.
养育她让我好起来一些 Raising her made me better.
抑郁是什么感觉？ What's it like being depressed?
我不知道 I don't know.
感觉像是… It feels like…
就像你不记得正常是什么感觉了 like you don't remember what better feels like.
然后你做一些你以为会让自己感觉好的事 可是那不能让你好起来 And then you do things that you think will make you feel better, but they don't.
只会更糟 They make it worse.
那些我很害怕做的事 And the things that I'm really scared of doing
大概是最能帮助我的事情 are probably the things that will help me the most,
可是我就是做不到 but I just can't do them.
我妈妈有躁郁症 My mom is bipolar…
我小时候 她经常抑郁 So she was really depressed a lot when I was a kid.
有一次我问了她同样的问题 And, I one time asked her the same question
她说:有时候人难过会容易些 and she said, "Sometimes it's just easier for people to be sad."
不过她很努力 非常努力 She tries though. Like, really tries.
人人都努力 Everybody tries.
我理解抑郁让你大脑认为有些事不是真的 I understand that depression makes your brain think things aren't true,
可是有时候我真希望 像我妈妈那样的人会听信 but sometimes I just wish people like my mom would listen to, like,
别人的话 而不是她的大脑 people instead of her brain.
我说的是好人 不是坏人 And, like, good people, not shitty people.
你知道你现在看起来像什么吗？ Do you know what you look like right now?
不知道 No.
你像世界上最善良的人 You look like the sweetest person ever.
-你想知道你现在看起来像什么吗？-我不想知道…我不在乎 -Do you know what you look like right now? -I don't want to know... I don't care.
我不想知道 I don't want to know.
此刻一切感觉如此美好 我不想改变它 Everything feels so good right now. I don't want it to change.
我唯一想改变的是我的胳膊肘疼 The only thing I would change is that my elbows hurt.
你的胳膊肘疼？ Your elbows hurt?
是 因为我这样靠着它们 Yeah, from leaning on them like that.
哇 Wow.
天啊 Holy crap.
我以为是格雷格 I thought you were gonna be Greg.
什么？ What?
嘿 大卫不喜欢这种麦片 他… Hey, David doesn't like this cereal, does...
不喜欢 只有你喜欢 Nope, just you.
-谢谢 -不客气 你今晚做什么了？ -Thank you. -You're welcome. What'd you do tonight?
我和一些高中朋友出去了 I was out with some high school friends.
你在为你的西班牙冒险做准备吗？ Are you planning for your Spanish adventure?
因为我准备帮你 Because I am ready to help.
我觉得玛雅在巴塞罗那正在约会别人 I think Maya is dating someone in Barcelona.
我之前不想说 I didn't want to say this before,
而且我这么说不是因为我是你妈妈 and I'm not just saying this because I'm your mother,
你比她好太多了 所有人都知道 but you're way too good for her and everybody knows that.
我认识的所有人都这么想 Literally everyone I know thinks that.
谁？ Who?
所有人 格雷格… Everyone. Greg...
-但这是真的 -格雷格告诉你玛雅好太多… -It's true though. -Greg told you that Maya was too good...
是真的 我们都知道是真的 It's true. We all know it's true.
福布赖特学者是… Fulbright scholar is...
-大傻瓜 -傻瓜 -Big dummies. -Dummies.
对 我比她好太多了 Yes, I'm way too good for her.
顺便一说 你的回忆不会消失 Your memories aren't going anywhere, by the way.
我很抱歉 长大成人很难 I'm sorry. Growing up is hard.
令人难以承受 我不知道我还要成长多久 It's very overwhelming. I don't know how much I have left.
还要成长很久 对吗？ I have so much, right?
不一定 Not... You know, not necessarily.
你… You…
你小时候很早熟 You did a lot when you were young.
抱歉 Sorry.
可我觉得你比同龄人成熟得多 But I feel like you're way ahead of the game.
尼基的画
嗨 安德鲁 Hi, Andrew.
嗨 Hey.
各位 今天是不是超乎寻常地美好？ Guys, was it extra beautiful today?
我们刚才正说这件事呢 We were just talking about that.
对 有时候我真的很羡慕犹太教 Yeah, sometimes I really envy Judaism.
我也是 Same.
尼基和他的家人都特别善良 不是吗？ And Nicky and his family were so sweet. Don't you think?
对 他父母 天啊 他们真是百年难遇的好父母 Yes. The parents. Oh, my God. They were literally to die for.
嘿 这周你能来照看萝拉吗？我好带多米诺出去 Hey, will you sit for Lola this week so I can take Domino out?
可以 我又能和萝一起玩了？ Yes. Lo and I get to fricking party again?
我有四张四 这样我就有195分了 Well, I have four fours which puts me at, like, 195.
我拼了命地想赢你 你有什么秘密？ I tried so hard to beat you. What is your secret?
-我没有秘密 -你保证？ -I do not have any secrets. -Do you promise?
-是的 -好吧 -Yes. -Okay.
萝拉又一次打败了安德鲁 Well, Lola kicks Andrew's ass one more time.
派对狂人 现在你想做什么？ What do you want to do now, party animal?
我不太确定 I am not exactly sure.
-你想再吃点东西吗？-不 谢谢 -Do you want some more food? -No, thank you.
你喜欢这样跟我共度时光吗？ Do you like spending time with me like this?
我感觉这好像让你很累 I feel like it's taking a lot out of you,
不过我想让你知道 我可以就坐在这里 不必说话 but I want you to know that I can just sit here and, like, not talk.
我可以放轻松 我可以是个放轻松的人 我感觉我说话太多 I can chill. I can be a chiller. I feel like I'm talking a lot.
有时候当我花很多时间社交 Sometimes it drains me a bit mentally and physically
会让我身心有些疲惫 when I spend a lot of time mingling.
好的 明白 Okay, yeah.
很抱歉我让你疲惫了 I'm sorry that I'm draining.
我怎么能不让你疲惫？我怎么可以避免？ How can I not be? How can I help that?
你可能做不到 You're probably not going to be able to.
有时候我只是需要自己独处来恢复 Sometimes I just need to recover in solitude.
我实际上喜欢待在一个空房间 I actually enjoy being in an empty room.
这让我很嫉妒 Well, I'm very jealous of that.
你为什么会嫉妒？ Why are you jealous?
因为我真希望自己能享受待在一个空房间 Because I wish I enjoyed the company of an empty room.
你尝试过享受它吗？ Have you ever tried to enjoy it?
你尝试过享受它吗？没有 "Have you ever tried to enjoy it?" No.
我准备睡觉了 我不介意你挠我的后背 I'm ready for bed and I do not mind you scratching my back.
我要尽量地模仿多米诺 I'm going to do my best Domino impression.
这样挠 Go like this.
然后那样挠 And go like that.
-这样吗？-对 -Like this? -Yeah.
好吧 Okay.
横着挠 And go across.
横着挠你的背？ Like, across your back?
好吧 Okay.
-请再用力一些 -好的 -More pressure, please. -Okay.
你真烂 小孩 You're trash, kid.
嘿 Hey.
玩得开心吗？ Fun night?
是啊 Yep.
吃饭、看电影和…开了好久的车才到家 Dinner and a movie and a… long ride home.
我们刚才谈论你来着 We were just talking about you.
我对多米诺说你让我想起了自己 Was saying to Domino that you, remind me of myself.
有意思 That's interesting.
-怎么会？-萝拉今晚怎么样？ -How? -How was Lola tonight?
她很好 我们玩了拉米500 She's great. She was great. We played 500 Rummy.
我喜欢那个游戏 I love that game.
你的袜子呢？ Where are your socks, man?
我…把它们脱掉了 I… took them off.
它们在我的鞋里 因为屋里挺热的 They're in my shoes because it was getting hot in here.
屋里确实很热 It is really hot in here.
是啊 特别是20分钟前 这里很热 Yeah, it was really hot at, like, 20 minutes ago, especially.
那是你的上衣吗？ Is that your shirt?
-是的 对 -2018届毕业生 -It is, actually, yeah. -Class of 2018?
你多大年龄？ How old are you?
我22岁 I'm 22.
我连22岁时是什么样子都不记得了 I don't even remember being 22.
我没意识到你那么老 I didn't realize you were that old.
大学毕业后 很多事要弄清楚 Lots to figure out after college.
是的 总是有很多事要弄清楚 Yeah, lots to figure out, always.
想帮我们弄清楚我们的事吗？ Want to help us figure out our stuff?
你说什么？ I'm sorry?
安德鲁 我们俩都喝了太多酒 我很抱歉 We've both had too much to drink. Andrew, I'm sorry.
我们要去睡觉了 We're going to go to bed.
好 没关系 我告辞了 Yeah, no worries at all. I'll leave you.
-我还没付你钱呢 -不 没关系 你可以用Venmo发给我 -I still got to pay you for sitting. -No, it's fine. You can Venmo me.
不 我有现金 No, I got cash.
谢谢 Thank you.
晚安 多米诺 Good night, Domino.
第三课是什么？ What's the third lesson?
和她在某个地方单独在一起 Be somewhere alone with her.
安静的地方 周围有其他人不好 Quiet. Other people around is bad news.
那么说我们去个安静的地方？ So, say "Let's go somewhere quiet"?
我的肉棒快餐背心去哪了？ Where the fuck is my Meat Stick vest?
-你不是有好几件吗？-是 可一件在脏衣服篮里 -Don't you have multiple? -Yes. But one's in the hamper.
我不想穿着有味的背心去上班 I don't want to go to work with a smelly-ass vest on.
你能帮我一下吗？ Can you help me for a second?
就在这里的什么地方 看看抽屉里有没有 It's somewhere in this room. Check my drawers or something.
你应该叫她和你去饮水机那里 You should just, like, ask her to go to the water fountain with you.
那是我第一次接吻的地方 你可以… That's where I had my first kiss. You can, like...
或者你可以什么都不说 抓起她的手 Or you could just not say anything, grab her hand
开始带她走 她就会想 and start walking with her and she'll be like,
天啊 我们是要第一次接吻了吗？ "Oh, my God. Are we about to have our first kiss right now?"
-那不会有点怪吗？-是 不 如果你成功了就不会 -Won't that be creepy? -Yes. No, not if you pull it off.
我觉得我做不到 I don't think I can.
大卫 你要是抱着这种态度就做不到 我的肉棒快餐背心去哪了？ Well, you won't with that attitude, David. Where is my Meat Stick vest?
嗨 我是安德鲁 Hi, this is Andrew.
嘿 这是罗恩先生 Hey, this is Mr. Ron.
我给你打电话是要给你一份 在有朋友更有希望的工作 I'm calling to offer you a job at Hope Loves a Friend.
哇 Wow.
我想今天是我最后一天在肉棒快餐工作了 I think today's my last day working at Meat Sticks.
非常感谢 我很激动 这不是玩笑吧？ Thank you so much. I'm so excited. Is this a prank?
我不在肉棒快餐干了 I'm done working at Meat Sticks
多米诺:我朋友今晚请我去看戏
约瑟夫出差了
你想跟萝拉玩吗？如果不行我理解
我有安排了 抱歉
梅西 你今晚有什么安排？ Macy, what are you doing tonight?
借过 女士 Excuse me, miss.
你好 Hello.
先生… Mist...
调酒师先… Mister bar...
你想点什么？ What are you trying to get?
那个山寨布莱德利库柏是谁？ Who is the discount Bradley Cooper?
他请我和丽兹喝伏特加苏打水 He's getting vodka sodas for me and Lizzie.
你看的戏怎么样？ How was your play?
结束了 然后我们就来这里了 It ended. And then we came here.
自然是这样 Naturally.
我没说谎 I'm not lying.
我不认为你在说谎 I don't think you are.
-调酒师先生 -很好 太好了 -Mister bartender. -Good. Great.
梅西:我们在隔壁酒吧
怎么了？ What?
我真想抽支烟 I really want a cigarette.
那就抽吧 Have one.
不行 我戒了 No, I quit.
今晚谁在照看萝拉？ Who's with Lola tonight?
我父母 My parents.
-你的未婚夫呢？-在芝加哥 -Where is your fiancé? -Chicago.
他为什么是你的未婚夫？ Why is he your fiancé?
他为什么是我的未婚夫？ Why is he my fiancé?
是啊 到底是怎么回事 他为什么是你的未婚夫？ Yeah. What's going on there in terms of, like, why he's your fiancé?
你喝醉了 You're drunk.
你走路像波浪号一样 You walked in a tilde out here.
波浪号？ A tilde?
是的 就是 西班牙语字母n上的注音符 Yeah, like the Spanish accent over the "n".
我知道波浪号是什么 I know what a tilde is.
我知道怎么旁敲侧击 I know how to soft step.
可我现在不想 我想听听你为什么要结婚 I just don't want to right now. I want to hear why you're getting married.
因为我想要承诺 Because I want commitment.
看起来好像不是这样 It doesn't seem like that.
我知道 I know.
可是我想在成人世界里站住脚跟 But I want to be firmly planted in adult world.
我想抛开一切其他的事情 And I want to... I want everything else to be shut down.
我想建立稳定的家庭 And I want to build something.
他是你的灵魂伴侣吗？ Is he your soul mate?
-你相信灵魂伴侣吗？-我相信 -Do you believe in soul mates? -Yeah, I do.
我认为 在地球上 我想我们都有很多灵魂伴侣 I think, on the Earth, we all have, like, a ton of soul mates.
我想对于你 也许是一个特殊情况 你只有几个… I think for you, maybe it's like a special case where you only have a few…
他们可能真的是你的灵魂伴侣 Who, like, could be and really are your soul mates.
但世上的大多数人不是你的灵魂伴侣 But most of the people in the world aren't your soul mate.
有多少灵魂伴侣？ How many soul mates?
对你来说 有四个 For you, like, four.
四个？ Four?
-对 四个灵魂伴侣 -我可能还没遇见一个 -Yeah. Four soul mates. -I probably haven't met any of them.
不 你有 上帝把他们放在你走的路上 所以你们会遇到 No, you have. God puts them, like, on your path so you'll cross.
你有多少？ How many do you have?
大约一千两百个 Like, 1,200.
你遇见他们了吗？ Have you met any?
是的 Yes.
多米诺 Domino.
天啊 好多血 Oh, my God. That's a ton of blood.
你为什么想去芝加哥？ Why do you want to go to Chicago?
因为我想要改变和… Because I want change and…
我觉得我想上大学 芝加哥有更多选择 I think I want to go to college and there are a lot more options in Chicago.
我觉得我的整个人生在那里展开 And I just feel like my whole life is happening there.
-你绝对应该上大学 -我就知道你会这么说 -You should definitely go to college. -I knew you would say that.
不过你应该在这里上 这样我就能和萝拉一起玩了 But you should go here so Lola and I can hang out
在你忙着学习和写作文的时候 when you're busy studying and doing your essays.
我那天晚上做了个梦 梦见我在用大学申请应用软件 I had this dream the other night that I was working on the common app.
萝拉也在 我无法集中精力 And Lola was there, and I couldn't focus.
然后你进来了 你说 And then you came in and you were like,
你准备好提交申请了吗？我就… "Are you ready to turn it in?" And I just…
惊慌失措 Freaked out.
我惊慌失措的原因是我根本还没开始 I was freaking out because I hadn't even started it.
然后你说… And then you were like…
没关系 你有很多时间 "It's okay. You have plenty of time."
我留着斜刘海 And I had side-swept bangs.
你的斜刘海是不是很难看？所以现在你的眼泪快涌出来了？ Did the side-swept bangs suck? Is that why you're tearing up right now?
你知道我和萝拉的爸爸结过婚吗？ Do you know I was married to Lola's dad?
不知道 No.
他离开了 He left.
我想谢谢你对萝拉这么好 I want to thank you for being so kind to Lola.
这是世界上最容易的事 Easiest thing in the world.
我想要你在萝拉的生活中 I want you to be in Lola's life.
但我不想让你再当我们的临时保姆了 But I don't want you to babysit for us anymore.
为什么？ Why?
因为我想让你享受你二十几岁的年纪 Because I want you to do your 20s.
我感觉有些事你不想对我说 I feel like there are things that you just, like, don't say to me.
我看不出你是在压抑想要亲近的愿望 And I can't tell whether you're, like, holding back a desire to be close
还是压抑想要疏远的愿望 or a desire to be distant.
在我看来 是压抑想要亲近的愿望 For me, it's holding back a desire to be close.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你得离开 从那个门出去 You have to go. And you have to go out that door.
该死 他说明天回来 Oh, fuck, he said tomorrow.
-多米诺 看着我 -不 -Domino, look at me for a second. -No.
是我 It's just me.
嘿 Hey.
你的朋友们怎么样？ How are your friends?
我明天会亲吻玛格 I'm kissing Margs tomorrow.
-安德鲁？-很好 太好了 -Andrew? -That's great. That's awesome.
你能给我讲讲其他课吗？ Can you tell me the other lessons?
不行 现在不行 No. Not right now.
什么？ What?
为什么？ Why?
因为我没有课可讲了 Because I don't have any lessons.
每次你问我 我都是临时瞎编的 Every time you asked me for a lesson, I just pulled something out of my ass.
我现在不想那么做 And I don't want to do that right now.
等等 那么你一直在骗我？ Wait. So you've been messing with me?
大卫 你现在能不能滚开？我不想说话 David, can you please fuck off right now? I don't want to talk.
我没有课 我什么都不知道 I don't have any lessons. I don't know shit.
我不明白我为什么以为你知道得很多 I guess I don't know why I thought you know shit.
你连女朋友都没有 You don't even have a girlfriend.
你现在想挨揍吗？所以你才这么说？ You want to get your ass kicked right now? Is that why you said that?
-一点不好笑 -我没想好笑 -That's not funny. -I'm not trying to be funny.
不是只有你会这么刻薄 You're not the only one who can be mean.
大卫 你不刻薄 你只是很讨厌 You're not mean, David. You're just really fucking annoying.
嗨 安德鲁 Hi, Andrew.
你好吗 酷人？嗨 约瑟夫 What's up, chiller? Hey, Joseph.
嗨 Hey.
嘿 你还能拿一件东西吗？ Hey, can you hold another thing right now?
那要看是什么东西了 It depends on what that thing is.
好吧 在这等着 等一下 All right. Wait right there. Hold on.
是什么？ What is it?
是… It is…
只是一个魔域13阶魔方 You know, just a MoYu 13-by-13.
是送给你的 是你的 It's for you, it's yours.
非常感谢你 Thank you very much for this.
你确定你能拿吗？是的 你可以 You sure you can hold it? Yes, you can.
安德鲁 你太客气了 That's really kind of you, Andrew.
嘿 萝拉 你去坐在那个桌子旁边 Hey, Lola, why don't you go sit at that table over there
在其他人来之前给我们占个位置 and claim our territory before everybody gets here.
听着 我们还没告诉萝拉 Listen, we haven't told Lola yet,
不过我们不需要你当临时保姆了 but we're not gonna need you to babysit anymore.
为什么？ Why?
原因很多 Lots of reasons.
其中之一是我完成了我的庭审 One of them being I finished my trial.
我们和解了 We settled.
祝贺你 Congratulations.
对 所以 我会休息一段时间 Yeah. So, I'm actually gonna be taking some time off.
我们不再需要临时保姆了 We won't need a sitter anymore.
多米诺在哪？ Where's Domino right now?
她在家 She's at home.
她没事吧？ Is she okay?
没事 她只是今晚不想来参加派对 Yeah, she just didn't feel like coming to a party tonight.
你为什么说话这么含糊？ Why are you so fucking vague, man?
-什么？-她是病了 还是怎么了？ -What? -Is she, like, sick or what?
听着 辛德勒先生在往这边看 他好像想让你回去工作 Look, Mr. Schindler's looking over here like he wants you to get back to your job.
我让你回去工作 我去和萝拉坐一起 I'm going to let you do that. I'm gonna go sit with Lola.
你能帮我个忙吗？你能不能给我来一杯纯水？ Could you do me a solid? Could you pour me, like, a straight water?
我说的是水是指伏特加 And by water I mean vodka.
继父格雷格 Stepdad Greg.
嘿 我和你妈妈、你弟弟刚到 Hey. I just showed up with your mom and brother.
我想你不会独自来参加 Well, I didn't think you were showing up alone
本杰明辛德勒的成人礼派对 to Benjamin Schindler's bar mitzvah party.
我听说你要搭我们的车回家 因为你是搭优步来的？ I hear we're driving you home because you Ubered. Is that right?
对 是这样 That's right. Yes.
虽然我觉得花在优步上的钱是值得的 Although I feel like all that Uber money might be worth it
不用闻你车里的鱼味 to not smell that fish in your car.
-什么鱼？-我不知道 -What fish? -I have no idea.
我猜你的车里放过很多鱼 I assumed you had many fish in your car.
-你在我的车里放鱼了吗？-没有 你的车就是臭 -Did you put fish in my car? -No, man, your car just reeks.
够了 安德鲁 All right, Andrew.
今晚一切顺利 确保让大家开心 Have a nice night making certain people feel happy.
今晚祝你痛恨你的生活 Have a nice night hating your life.
孩子 你喝醉了吗？ Are you drunk right now, son?
是的 先生… I am. Yes. Sir, yes, sir.
嘿… Hey, hey, hey.
辛德勒先生早就想让你开始了 你去哪了？ Mr. Schindler wanted you to start a while ago. Where have you been?
吸毒 告诉他他儿子的派对将会很精彩 Doping. Tell him his kid's party's gonna be lit.
是 我会告诉他 他儿子的派对发起人吸了毒 Yeah, I'm going to tell him his kid's party starter was doping.
怎么搞的？你很臭 What? You stink.
不会 你才臭 Nah, you stink.
你很臭 你现在有工作要做 You stink. You have a job to do right now.
辛德勒先生穿着小丑服装 Well, Mr. Schindler's wearing a clown costume, so.
你现在赶快开始 我告诉他你去大便了 好吗？ You start now and I'll tell him you were just pooping. Okay?
好吧 很好 你随便说什么都行 妈妈 Okay, great. Tell him whatever you want, Mom.
你的工作 Job.
好 知道了 Okay, got it.
老天啊 Jesus Christ.
-嘿 -怎么了？ -Hey. -What?
关于昨晚我很抱歉 我需要建议 我很紧张 I'm really sorry about last night. I need advice. I'm really nervous.
每个人都会紧张 你没问题 我得走了 Everybody's nervous. You got it. I got to go.
大家好啊 你们想看马戏团吗？ Hello, everybody. Are you guys ready for a circus?
你们想听音乐吗？好的 You ready for some music? All right.
我知道要让你们当中 有些人走进舞池是很难的 I know how hard it is for some of you to get on the dance floor,
但是我们今天晚上开始的方式 but the way we're going to start tonight
是每个人都来跳恰恰滑步 is everybody is gonna do the Cha Cha Slide.
每一个人 无一例外 Every single person. No exceptions.
我要等到每个人都到舞池里来 I'm literally not going to start the song
才开始播放歌曲 until every single person is on the dance floor.
嘿 你想和我走到饮水机去吗？ Hey. Do you want to walk with me to the water fountain
在其他人跳恰恰滑步的时候 while everybody's dancing to the Cha Cha Slide?
好 Yeah.
我们只是去喝水 还是应该在这里聊聊天？ Are we just getting water, or should we hang out back here?
我们可以在这里聊聊天 We can hang out back here.
你的足球比赛怎么样？ How was your soccer game?
很好 我们赢了 Good. We won.
祝贺你 Congratulations.
我为你进了一个球 I scored a goal for you.
那真好 That's nice.
-那条项链真漂亮 -那是谁的魔方？ -That's a really nice necklace. -Whose cube is that?
你想… Do you want to…
接吻吗？ Kiss?
那是我刚收到的礼物 I just got it as a gift.
-快点 给我 -不 -Come on. Give it. -No.
你在看什么？ What are you looking at?
嘿 Hey.
-我马上回来 -好吧 -I'll be right back. -All right.
向左 现在回来 所有人 To the left Take it back now, y'all
这次跳一下 右脚 我们来跺脚 One hop this time Right foot, let's stomp
向左 我们来跺脚 恰恰非常顺滑 Left foot, let's stomp Cha cha real smooth
向左 现在回来 所有人 该尽情跳舞了… Cha cha now, y'all Now it's time to get funky…
-把我的魔方还给我 给我 -你个子够高 -Give my cube back. Give it. -You're tall enough.
-把她的东西还给她 -滚开 -Give her her stuff back. -Get off.
该死 罗德里戈 Oh, shit, Rodrigo.
混蛋 Fuck head.
孩子们… Guys, guys, guys.
-你没事吧？-嘿 -Are you okay? -Hey!
别急… Relax, relax. Relax.
-嘿 -该死 -Hey! -Goddamn it.
嘿 别推我妈 Hey, don't push my mom.
喂 怎么回事？ Yo, what the hell?
嘿 Hey.
厉害 Damn.
安德鲁 每一份专业工作都有界限 Andrew, there are boundaries that come with a professional gig.
每一种职业都有那些界限 Every profession has those boundaries.
好吧 可是你把那个家伙打昏了 继父格雷格 Okay, but the way you put that man to sleep, stepdad Greg.
安德鲁 这不好笑 Andrew, this isn't funny.
妈妈 我很抱歉你挨了打 Mom, I'm sorry that you got slugged,
可罗德里戈和大卫打的那些小孩是混蛋 but those kids that Rodrigo and David were fighting are pricks.
他们年级的每个小孩今晚都能睡好了 Every kid in their grade is going to sleep very well tonight,
知道那些家伙被揍了 还有那个混蛋爸爸 knowing they got their asses kicked. Along with that prick dad.
-现在他们不敢欺负人了 -注意语言 -Now they won't fuck with people. -The language.
对 妈妈和格雷格 打架是值得的 Yeah. It was worth it, Mom and Greg.
我等着揍他们已经等了三年了 Yeah, I've been waiting to kick their asses for three years now.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
格雷格 那是我见过的 最厉害的右勾拳 朋友 And, Greg, that was the meanest right hook I've ever seen, my boy.
对 格雷格 我以前不知道你身手这么敏捷 Yeah, Greg. I did not know you could move like that.
你是谁 杰克保罗吗？ What are you, Jake Paul?
我就知道你喜欢那个笑话 小子 他直接昏倒了 I knew you would like that one, dog. He literally fell asleep.
没人胆敢打你妈妈 Well, no one hits your mother.
妈妈 它不在桌子上 Mom, it's not on the table.
-你在我的包里找了吗？-找了 不在包里 -Did you look in my bag? -Yes, it's not there.
我不知道 也许在我床头柜上 I don't know. Maybe it's on my bedside table.
好吧 Okay.
听着 我真的不希望你现在开车 Look, I really don't want you to drive right now.
-格雷格 我只喝了一杯 -你要去哪？ -Greg, I had one drink. -Where are you going?
我去一个朋友家 因为她生病了 I'm going to my friend's house because she's sick
-我想去看看她 -你干嘛这么着急？ -and I want to go check on her. -Why are you in such a hurry?
我不着急 你得用冰敷 看起来很严重 I'm not in a hurry. You need to put ice on that. It looks horrible.
大卫 你能跟我上楼吗？ David, can you come upstairs with me?
还有 你们得冰敷你们的手 And, you guys, ice your fists.
因为你们打人了 'Cause of your punches.
-是 先生 -是 先生 -Yes, sir. -Yes, sir.
大卫 上来 David, come up here.
我很抱歉 我过去24小时过得很糟糕 I'm really sorry. I was having a bad 24 hours.
-没关系 -有关系 可是我很抱歉 -It's okay. -It's not okay, but I'm really sorry.
-你今晚第一次接吻了吗？-没有 -Did you have your first kiss tonight? -No.
你没有？那很好 You didn't? That's good.
那其实非常非常好 因为我意识到 That's actually really, really good because I realized something.
我教你的根本没用 My lessons sucked.
它们极具误导性 They were, like, super misleading.
我一直告诉你这和玛格丽特有关 I kept telling you that it was all about Margaret
还有 让你全心全意地关注她 and about, like, giving her all your attention,
但我忘记说你也必须关注你自己 but I forgot to say that you have to pay attention to yourself too.
这不容易 就像我们说过的 其实很难 It's not easy, like we were saying. It's actually really hard.
因为你也必须争取你想要的 Because you've got to go for what you want, too.
接吻是让两个人愉快的事 Kissing is for two people to enjoy.
我得走了 I got to go.
今晚过得真的太棒了 Really awesome shit tonight.
做你的哥哥我深感自豪 I'm so proud to be your big brother.
爱你 Love you.
-安德鲁 -怎么了？ -Andrew? -Yes. What?
祝你好运 Good luck.
谢谢 Thank you.
嗨 Hey.
-嗨 -嗨 -Hi. -Hi.
你病了吗？ Are you sick?
没有 我只是不想去派对 No, I just didn't want to go to the party.
你怎么…派对还没结束呢 What are you... It's not over.
还没有 It's not.
我只想来告诉你一件事 I just wanted to come and tell you something
因为我觉得我再也不会有机会告诉你 'cause I feel like I'm not going to get another chance to tell you…
我觉得你不想结婚 That I feel like you don't want to get married.
所以我认为你不应该结婚 So, I don't think that you should.
还有我爱你 And I love you.
-你不爱我 -我爱你 -You don't love me. -Yeah, I do.
还有最重要的是 我只想让你快乐 And more than anything, I just want you to be happy.
我很快乐 I am happy.
当我和你在一起时 我觉得充满活力 When I'm with you, I feel so… alive,
我觉得自己很特别 and I feel so special.
但那是因为这都是… But that's because it's all…
可能性 Possibility.
我们没在谈恋爱 We're not in a relationship.
-可是如果我们谈恋爱呢？-我不知道 -But what if we were in a relationship? -I don't know.
我也不想知道 因为你22岁 And I don't want to know because you are 22,
你值得拥有更好的 and you deserve so much more than this.
你不能轻易决定你爱某人 You can't just decide that you love somebody,
然后就完了 万事大吉 and then that's that, and everything's great.
-你可以 -你不能 -Yes, you can. -No, you can't.
你可以… Yes, you can. You can.
你甚至还不知道自己是谁 You don't even know who you are yet.
把你的心交给某人是… Giving your heart to somebody is…
最可怕 The scariest,
最危险 most dangerous,
最令人困惑的事 most perplexing thing.
我们接吻怎么样？也许你会改变主意 What if we just kiss? Maybe you'll change your mind.
不 No.
我想嫁给他 I want to marry him.
我想 我真的想嫁给他 I do. I really want to marry him,
我知道看起来好像不是那样 因为我的行为 但是我想 and I know that it doesn't seem like that because of what I do, but I want that.
只是我很害怕 It's just that I'm so scared…
因为第一任离开了 Because the first one left.
他离开了我 He left me.
嫁给约瑟夫是最能帮助你的一件事 Marrying Joseph is the thing that will help you the most.
什么？ What?
那天晚上 你说让你很害怕的事情 The other night you said that the things that really scare you are the things
是对你最有帮助的事情 that are gonna help you the most.
我以为你在… I had thought that you were...
我以为你在说我 I thought that you were talking about me.
因为我是个傻瓜 Because I'm an idiot.
我很抱歉 I'm really sorry.
把窗户摇下来 Roll the window down.
我很抱歉 伙计 我是个愚蠢的小孩 I'm really sorry, man. I'm a dumb kid.
我知道 没关系 I know. It's okay.
谢谢你今晚保护萝拉 Thanks for looking out for Lola tonight.
安德鲁 看着我 Andrew, look at me for a second.
谢谢你保护我的家人 Thanks for looking out for my family.
-你能开车吗？-能 -You good to drive? -Yeah.
我现在醉了 I'm drunk, now.
妈妈 你能不能开格雷格的车来接我？ Mom, can you pick me up in Greg's car right now?
是 我很安全 只是一切都是一团糟 Yeah, I'm safe. Everything is just, like, a mess.
-嗨 -安德鲁 这是艾什琳 -Hi. -Andrew, this is Ashlin.
久仰大名 我听说你是… I've heard so many things about you. I hear you're a…
-谁啊？-嘿 是我 -Hello? -Hey, it's me.
我提前下班了 我能去接大卫吗？ I got off early. Can I get David?
好呀 Yeah.
-你的钥匙在这里吗？-是 -Are your keys in here? -Yeah.
妈妈 Mother.
我能告诉你几件事吗？ Can I tell you something?
我很抱歉因为我你被打成了黑眼圈 I'm really sorry I gave you that black eye,
这是我想说的第一件事 不过看起来挺酷的 is the first thing I wanted to say. It looks really cool, though.
我还想告诉你 And I also want to tell you
我决定不去巴塞罗那了 that I have decided I'm not going to Barcelona.
但我想我不久就会搬出去住 But I do think I'm gonna move out soon.
我意识到我有足够的钱 I realize I have enough money.
但我想我不会搬得很远 But I don't think I'm going to move very far.
听起来很好 宝贝 That sounds great, babe.
我总是在上班路上经过我们的老房子 I've been passing our old house on the way to work.
我每天都从那里走过 Like, I walk by it every day.
-是吗？-是 -You have? -Yes.
每次我路过都觉得很快乐 And I feel really happy every time I pass it.
我想让你知道 And I just want you to know that.
我有一种冲动 想告诉你我的童年很美好 Like, I have this urge to tell you that I had a really great childhood.
我觉得你是一个非常好的妈妈 And I think you're a really great mother.
我希望你知道 我是这么想的 I hope you know that. I think that.
我也很喜欢你的新房子 And I also really love your new house.
我很开心你是快乐的 And I'm really happy that you're happy.
你是想要杀了我吗？ Are you trying to kill me?
是 Yes.
对 过来 Yeah. Come here.
-嗨 -嗨 -Hey. -Hi.
不知为何 我担心再也见不到你了 For some reason, I was afraid I was never going to see you again.
我通常不会来接大卫 但今天我提前下班了 所以… Well, I usually don't pick up David. But today I got off work early, so…
那天晚上你真的让我不知所措 You really caught me off guard the other night.
我只是没有机会考虑我想对你说什么 I just didn't have a chance to think about what I wanted to say to you.
不仅仅是我害怕作出承诺 It's not just that I'm afraid of commitment
因为我曾经被抛弃 because I've been left before.
是因为你深爱着我？ It's because you're deeply in love with me?
是啊 Yeah.
但我本来想说的是… But what I was gonna say is that…
我很难 It is really hard for me
接受一个事实 就是在我离世之前 to accept the fact that until I leave Earth,
我的生活会一直这么复杂 I'm gonna have always been so tangled.
我很年轻的时候有了她 She came when I was so young.
还有 And…
从那以后 一切都由她的成长阶段来定义 Then everything from there was defined by her stages.
然后约瑟夫出现了 我非常感激 但… And then Joseph came along, and I'm so thankful, but…
在我的余生 一切都将由他们来定义 For the rest of my life, everything is going to be defined by them.
而你 But you,
你只有你自己 you only have you.
多么吓人 但又是多么精彩 And how scary but how amazing.
你可以找到自己的路 You can just figure things out,
而且你不必担心把另一个人牵扯进来 and you don't have to worry about bringing another person into it.
是 我觉得你很棒 Yeah, I think you're so great.
我很抱歉的是… I'm really sorry that...
没关系 It's okay.
-嗨 这太糟糕了 -什么糟糕？ -Well, dang, this sucks. -What does?
你刚对我说了你的告别演讲 You just gave me, like, your farewell speech.
这意味着我们要告别了 So this means we're saying goodbye.
我该走了 I should go.
大卫不知道我在停车 David doesn't think that I'm parking,
我应该到拼车道去 so I should get in the carpool line.
我不想见萝拉 And I don't want to see Lola.
那天我意识到大概不会经常见到她了 I realized the other day I probably won't see her much anymore,
我想这是合理的 and that makes a lot of sense to me.
是 可是这让我很难过 Yeah, but that makes me really sad.
是 这让我… Yeah, it makes me...
让我也很难过 Makes me really sad too.
天啊 你真善良 Gosh, you're really sweet.
不 我不是 我只是真的爱你们 No, I'm not. I just really love you guys.
但我的回忆不会消失 But my memories aren't going anywhere.
我的也不会 Neither will mine.
她的也不会 Neither will hers.
那好吧 Okay, well.
再见 Bye.
-等等 等一下 -什么？ -Wait. Hold on. -Yes?
我本来想把这个卡片给你 I was gonna try and get you this card.
我打算寄给你 然后… I was going to mail it and then…
-我没有… -你没有我的地址 -I don't have... -You don't have my address.
没有 我对你实在不太了解 No, I don't really know anything about you.
那就给你吧 But you can have it.
谢谢 Thank you.
顺便一说 我确实觉得我是灵魂伴侣 By the way, I do think I'm a soul mate.
但我知道约瑟夫也是 But I know that Joseph is too.
你想谈谈吗？ Do you want to talk about it?
不 现在不想 也许晚些时候 谢谢你的关心 No, not right now. Maybe later. Thank you for asking.
我大概会在餐桌上做功课 Well, I'm... I'll probably end up doing homework
无论你什么时候准备好 我们都可以谈 at the dining room table, so whenever you're ready.
大卫 我想永远和你做朋友 好吗？ David, I want to be friends forever, okay?
好的 Okay.
不过我能告诉你一件伤心事吗？ Can I tell you something sad, though?
我想我不会在你的房间住很久了 I think I'm not going to be living in your room much longer.
我想我该找个自己的住处了 对吗？ I think it's probably time I find my own place, right?
是 也许这样更好 我的房间挺挤的 Yeah. I mean, that's probably right. It's a pretty tight space.
是啊 是很挤 Yes, it is a very tight space.
你今天和玛格丽特聊天了吗？ Did you talk to Margaret today?
是的 我们聊了聊 Yeah. We did some talking.
什么？这不可能 你今天第一次接吻了？ What? Shut your ass up right now! Did you have your first kiss today?
你今天第一次接吻了 是真的吗？ You had your first kiss today. What are you talking about right now?
在学校？天啊 At school? Oh, my God.
好吧 我们…你…我们现在回家 Okay, so we're... You're... We're getting home right now.
你要飞快地做完功课 You're going to do your homework so freaking fast,
然后告诉我每一个细节 and then you're going to tell me every single solitary detail.
然后我们要偷偷打开格雷格的秘密冰箱 And then we're going to break into Greg's secret fridge
在他回家之前趁机喝几瓶 and pop some bottles before he gets home.
花在你自己身上 多 吻
你为什么不高兴？ Why do you look upset?
怎么了？ What's going on?
我想我也有点伤心 I think I'm a little heartbroken too.
怎么了？因为玛格丽特？ What? Margaret?
不…只是… No, no. It's…
我会想你的 I'm going to miss you.
我也会想你的 伙计 I'm gonna miss you too, man.
六个月后